Well I have not updated everyone on what happened following my surgery.

I went in for my post op follow up appointment on October 18. I had thrown up the whole night before but thought it was unrelated. I had also had some pain in my pelvis which I just assumed were the stitches inside me. She said they got all the cancer out and even grabbed some surrounding tissue and it came back clean! Yay!! Cancer free, Cancer free!!! However, she suspected I had an infection near the suture site inside so she admitted me straight into the hospital. She wanted a CT scan to see where exactly it was and how bad, plus they started me on IV antibiotics right away. Sounds simple enough, wrong. I am allergic to the IV contrast so hospital regulation is 12 hours of prep including benedryl and prednisone (which is one of the most disgusting pills you will ever taste!). Also you are not allowed to eat within 8 hours of getting your scan, so it made the pills taste that much worse. I was exhausted and nauseous still by the time I was able to get the CT scan done, which was 3 a.m. by the way! I was able to go back to bed and found out the next morning that I did in fact have an infection but I could go home and finish my antibiotics.

I was doing a lot better until about a week later I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. I took 2 oxycodone and put a heating pad on. 40 minutes later I was still in as much pain as I was when I woke up. My mom decided we should go to the ER just in case. I get to St. Francis in Federal Way and was immediately put on more pain killers. The doctor said he didn't want to do an exam without consulting my doctor so he called her. She said do the pap and get a tissue sample and also do an external ultrasound. The exam was painful (as they always are for me now) but nothing like the ultrasound. She couldn't find my ovaries so she decided to do an internal ultrasound as well. She was moving the camera all around trying to find them. I kept telling her that they had been surgically relocated but she was determined. She never did find them!! After that I was told I needed to be transported by an ambulance to Swedish in Seattle. I looked at my mom and just started laughing, I thought he was kidding! He wasn't.

Basically after I got to Swedish they determined it was the same infection and I just needed a different type of antibiotic. I have now been taking those and my last dose was last night :) I had a final follow up appointment on Thursday and she said everything is looking great. I still need to take it easy and I am not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds for 5 or 6 months but I am on the road to recovery!

My next appointment is not until December. I will still try and keep everyone updated. I can't believe we did it!! We all made it through a tough summer but I am officially on the other side.

FEELS GREAT!!

Found this pic and tweaked to fit me!

 

 

 

Surgery went well :)

I am unofficially in remission!! It is unofficial because I have not had my follow up doctors appointment yet with the pathology report but she seems to think we got it all out.

Healing this time seems to be easier. I am not in as much pain as I was last time although I am staying on top of the drugs better. And the heating pad helps out a lot! My last day in the hospital was a nightmare. The nurses assistant was a total brat. She was rough and had no patience with me. I had to go for a walk before I could leave the hospital and she ended up practically dragging me around. By the time we got back to the room I was in tears and she said "does it hurt?", umm yea, that's why I begged you to stop 3 times! And she dumped out my pee before the nurse could inspect it (there was blood in it but I am not sure if it was from my urine or my surgery) and then told the nurse "she peed, she can go". I was kicked out of the hospital before I was ready. It was 10 am the next morning. They also were not keeping track of my medicines. My nurse kept coming in and saying, how many did she give you? Oh I forgot to write down how many last time. I can't remember the last time I gave you meds... It was a mess, I am lucky I didn't overdose!

I love my doctor but I really don't think I will ever have surgery there again. It was miserable and I was truly happy to be home just to be away from them!

I had some good friends come and see me after I got home home. It was so nice and they brought flowers, brownies, movies, etc. One friend even made me the cutest banner that says stay strong Mallory. We have it hanging in the living room. I love it! I am so blessed to have so many friends during all of this. It has been a true test of faith but I feel stronger from it!

I will keep you all updated on my post op appt. and as of right now I am going to home to AZ on October 22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!

Aloha from Maui!

I am currently on vacation with my family. It is so beautiful here! For the first time in a long time I feel completely relaxed.

Now for an update. I finally got in to get my CT Scan. They did not do the contrast IV because I am allergic to it so I just had to drink the nasty smoothie, yuck! The day after my Scan I had a follow up appointment with my Chemo doctor. Even though she wasn't the one who ordered the scan she went over the results with me. She started reading it and then she said that my lungs were still clear (YAY!) and none of my organs showed anything out of the ordinary. She also said that my tumor seems to be the same size as it was for my last CT Scan with a smile. That's great except my last CT Scan was in May before all this started! She looked back and sure enough, my tumor has NOT shrank! I was so bummed when she said that. My heart sank. A whole summer wasted of Radiation and Chemo for nothing!! She could tell I was upset and said that it was still a good thing because it did clear the cancer from the tissue around my cervix and it kept it from growing. She said she would highly recommend a Hysterectomy at this point and since I am already getting one, I am on the right track. I was disappointed but left feeling good because I now know I made the right decision to have the surgery.

3 days later we left for Hawaii. I woke up that morning feeling good but right before we boarded the plane I started bleeding. Not heavily but enough to scare me a little. I decided to wait until we landed to call the doctor because I was going to Hawaii no matter what!! After a 6 hour flight I turned on my phone and had a message waiting. It was from the doctor that ordered the CT Scan. She said she wanted me to call her to discuss my results. At this point I wasn't panicking but a little nervous because she didn't just say everything was fine in the message. After exiting the plane I called her back and realized I was just 5 minutes late. Here in Hawaii it is 3 hours earlier so even though it was only 2:05 there it was 5:05. Ugh.

The next morning I call at 6 am here (9 am there) and ask to speak with the doctor that had called. She was out that day so I decided to call my regular doctor and fill her in, especially because I was bleeding now. They were closed on Tuesday. I felt like I couldn't catch a break! I left a message anyway. About 3 hours later I get a call from one of the nurses. She said "Can you come in today? We need to discuss your CT results." Now I was nervous! I told them I couldn't make it in until at least the 21st. She put me on hold and had another doctor come to the phone. She basically said that because I didn't have the contrast IV they couldn't really tell if there was a new growth or if it just wasn't shrinking. They need me to have a PET Scan when I get home.

Not as bad as I thought. All that worry for nothing!! Yesterday my Chemo doctor called to say my Vitamin B level is extremely low but all I need to do for that is take 1000 mg of B12 a day. That is why my energy hasn't returned. So excited to feel like me again :)

Anyway in the meantime I am enjoying Hawaii very much! Even with this crap going on I am finding it fairly easy to relax!! Aloha!

I woke up this morning with a little bit of a fever. Also I have been in a lot of pain this week and have had some other things not normal so I called the doctor just to be sure first thing this morning. They suggested I come in even if it is nothing, better to be safe than sorry. My doctor was off today so I met Dr. Beth and she did my exam. I really liked her (like I said, I have gotten super lucky with my medical team). She was very careful and precise. She said it doesn't seem like anything is wrong with the tumor, however, my stomach is extremely tender so she ordered a CT scan. I hate these. The gross smoothie you need to drink first, the lying on a bed being told when to breathe and when to hold your breath, the contrast dye (which I am allergic to by the way) that makes you feel like you are peeing your pants, etc. So I am already anxious when I call to schedule it and the receptionist was a total brat. She was asking me what doctor ordered it because she has never met a Dr. Beth (and apparently she knows every doctor in the world), why she needed me to have it done, why it was focused on my pelvic area, and then proceeded to tell me that I need insurance approval that takes 5-7 days minimum. I understand that last part to a certain degree but her attitude was unpleasant and I did not need to get insurance approval the first time. Which is extra frustrating because they have cancelled my insurance now!!

Long story short is hopefully I am ok but I won't know for sure for at least 5-7 days MINIMUM!

My last day of Radiation was August 14th (almost 2 weeks ago). I thought now was the easy part, I was wrong. My skin has gotten worse for some reason. Instead of healing it just feels more burnt everyday. I get really bad headaches, I have hot flashes regularly now, and my tumor is causing more pain than when this whole thing began. I feel like I am living on pain meds now and I hate that. Also I haven't lost a single pound since going off Chemo. It's depressing. Is this my new size? I am not used to it and I don't feel pretty at all anymore. My stomach looks (ironically) like I am pregnant plus I have 5 nasty scars from my surgery that look more like bug bites than battle wounds. Nothing I own fits right. I can't wear jeans again because my skin is so irritated. I live in sweats. I feel like a bum.

Today I decided to go shopping for a friend that is due to have a baby any minute now. She is my best friend ever as she has taken care of me when I can't. She took me in and let me live with her when I needed a place to stay. She paid for meals for me when I couldn't afford to. She gives me the greatest advice even when I think I have heard it all. She, again, is my best friend. So today I went to find her new baby boy a cute outfit. I was looking in the 9-12 month section because babies grow fast and her babies grow even faster. As I am looking through the rack I come across a cute Hurley brand outfit. I start to wonder if they like Hurley and what their baby would look like in it. Then I thought "well I would dress my baby in this..." at which point I start crying really hard in the middle of the store. It sneaks up on me. These moments of weakness that I don't expect. I am really sad I will never be able to be pregnant again. I will never feel a baby kick. The journey of getting a baby I know is really hard. I hate to act like a victim but honestly this is just the shittiest luck ever. I ended up just walking away. I couldn't be there any longer. I was really embarrassed especially because no one else knows why I am crying.

I did not write any of this for sympathy or compliments. I wrote it to show that I am weak sometimes. I know everyone thinks I have been extremely strong, and I agree for the most part, but I do have my moments. Today has been a hard day. The Radiation has really drowned me in pain. I am trying to recover but the last 2 days have seemed impossible.

Just found some more pictures I never posted from Radiation and my first Chemo treatment. Enjoy!

This is Radiation. You can see where I lay on a bed and a huge machine circles around me. Radiation only ever took 5 to 10 minutes. I miss that crew, they were awesome!

Another close up of me and the big machine.

These show where the radiation was directed in my pelvic area. They took these photos once a week to make sure the radiation was going where it needed to be.

This was my very first day of Chemo. That blanket over my arm was to warm the veins so they would get big and throb. I had to do this weekly because apparently I have tiny veins. Also the blanket trick helped a lot to relieve the pain of the Chemo entering the vein.

The Chemo made me have to pee constantly! I was up at least every hour to go to the bathroom. Lucky for me I had a private room most of the time which included a bed and my own bathroom!

Messy hair but good spirits considering :)

My cousin Brianna was amazing! She came every single week and had lunch with me. She also brought me treats and presents, plus a lot of reading material and games I could play by myself to pass the time when I was alone. One week in particular I was really sad and had an awful nurse and she just let me cry and rubbed my back and stayed by my side. I don't know what I would have done without her!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Brianna, I love you!

This is the actual bag of Chemo I had. It is called Cisplatin (pronounced sis-plat-in) It was awful. It made everything taste like metal. It made my body feel like I was being poisoned for  2 to 3 days after treatments even. It did not, however, make me lose my hair or lose a ton of weight. The guy that prepared my Chemo bags is Rollie. He is awesome. He was super friendly and always came by my room to chat. He was like a bartender for Chemo and we always called him a wizard in his potion cave because he had to mix everything in a tiny little room that had 2 locked doors just to access it. I got really lucky with most of the staff there too!

And my first trip home. I was severely nauseous and the mask helped to block smells. It was the only week I needed to wear the mask because I figured out which meds helped.

I look like a Jackson kid :)